High School Flashback

Every time I hear about 9/11, my mind goes to a strange place. I don't think about the twin towers falling, the families that were torn apart or the fearless FDNY. I don't get teary-eyed about my close friends who had to go to Iraq and fight. I just remember high school and Ace.

On that fatefull day when so much changed, I felt nothing. I had learned about so many wars in school and from my family. I had seen pictures of my grandfathers in their uniforms with stoic looks on their faces. All I knew was that there was another scare... another possible world war three. At 17, all you have are possibilities. What if I fail this test? What if I crash my car? What if I get caught sneaking off campus? After living a life of what if's, you start to become jaded by them, only fear the facts, the what is. This what if was about to become a what is, and I had no idea.

I found out about the twin towers while I was sitting in my Religion class doodling on my notebook, adding my name to Ace's last name. My teacher talked about how God would get us through such a terrible time, and how we needed to pray for all of the families involved. After the bell rang, I grabbed my bag and walked into the hallway. As I walked toward my locker, I heard my high school boyfriend, Ace, running to catch up with me.

"Hey babe! Wait up!" I turned to see my handsome boyfriend running up to me. His light blue eyes beaming and his sun-bleached hair flopping around.

"Hey Ace," I smiled. "How was your off-period? Religion class is soooo boring." I made an annoyed face and rolled my eyes.

"Did you hear what happened in New York?!" His light blue eyes darkened.

I nodded my head, "pretty awful, huh? I wonder what is going to happen."

"Yeah," he nodded his head quickly, still catching his breath. "All of the guys are talking about what might happen. Brandon said we might get drafted." My heart skipped a beat. One more what if I would have to worry about.

Without realizing, I grabbed his hand. He squeezed mine back. "If I get drafted," he looked down, took a deep breath and said, "would you marry me? I mean, if I get drafted, would you marry me." I smiled and answered simply, "of course," it was an easy what if. He looked up and smiled.

There was never any question for me. I loved him first and planned on forever. After all, with so many what if's, it was nice to have a solution. If my Ace gets drafted, we will get married. Of course, I never thought about what would happen to Ace if he had to go and fight in a war, or what I would do with my 18-year old husband on the other side of the planet. I hadn't gotten that far yet.

On on of the worst days the United States has ever seen, I got my first proposal, from my first love. When I think about 9/11, I think about Ace first.